Unintentionally Hilarious Album Cover #4 - Lisztomania

Don't worry. It's just an arm holding a rapier, while being supported by nude women. Totally not a penis ejaculating onto Roger Daltrey's face.

Epic packaging - AC/DC's Backtracks

One of the things I love the most about buying music is admiring the album art, liner notes, that sort of stuff. Ocasionally, I'll come across album packaging that's so epic, I have to share it with you. Behold:

That's AC/DC's new rarities box set, Backtracks. If you can't tell, this is one box full of badass. It includes 3 CDs of rarities, two DVDs (Family Jewels Vol. 3 and Live at the Circus Krone), one LP of studio rarities, a 2-inch button, a sticker, a tour flyer, a studio track sheet for the "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" multitracks, a Bon Scott temporary tatoo, the "Moneytalks" 100 dollar bill, a guitar pick, three lithographs, a full-size tour poster, and a 164-page coffee table book.

That may seem awesome already, but that's not the best part.

The amp that the whole set is housed in? That's actually fully operational.

Yes. They included a 1 watt guitar amplifier in the set. Isn't that badass?

For those that want it, you can pre-order the deluxe edition for $199 at the band's web site. If you just want the rarities without all the other awesome stuff, they're also selling a stripped-down version with only two CDs and the Family Jewels Vol. 3 DVD.

New Music Tuesday - Join The Resistance

I've never been much of a Muse fan before, aside from that one "Knights of Cydonia" song that always kicked my ass on Guitar Hero (By the way, makers of Guitar Hero... THE KEYBOARD PART IS NOT THE GUITAR PART. PLEASE STOP DOING THAT. THANKS.). And I guess I listened to their previous effort, "Black Holes and Revelations" a couple of times, but this new release actually has me pumped for the band. For those not familiar with the band, Muse kinda sounds like a more prog-rock version of Radiohead.
However, the release of their new album "The Resistance" has actually got me somewhat excited about the band. It certainly helps that the first track, "Uprising", is such an ass-kicker of an anthem. I'm pretty sure that's going on some of my mix CDs later this year. The rest of the album feels just as epic and complex, with songs changing quickly between sweeping and orchestral to hard guitar rock. Hell, "I Belong To You" even has a motherloving clarinet solo! And to satisfy the prog-rock fans in all of us, the final three tracks are a suite of songs with a title that wouldn't sound out of place on a 70's Rush album: Exogenesis. These twelve minutes pretty much present the best moments of the album. The suite has this sweeping orchestral score that you have to hear to believe.

VERDICT: BUY

Unintentionally Hilarious Album Cover #3 - David Bowie

 

Forensic scientists have concluded that this is the least awesome photo of David Bowie ever taken.

Blue Oyster Cult To Release New Album Exclusively Through The Dollar Tree

Hot on the heels of the announcement that glam rock legends Kiss will be releasing their latest album "Sonic Boom" exclusively through Wal-Mart, and the smashing success of both Prince's Target-exclusive album "LOtUSFLOW3R" and Best Buy's exclusive release of Guns N' Roses' "Chinese Democracy", Dollar Tree, Inc. has announced today that it will be the exclusive carrier of Blue Oyster Cult's newest album, "Soft White Underbelly."



In a press event Monday morning, CEO Bob Sasser and BOC vocalist Eric Bloom stood in front of the Wichita, KS store to formally announce the exclusive deal.
"For years, people have been coming to this store to buy party supplies, last minute greeting cards, and cheap off-brand office supplies. We at the Dollar Tree feel that Blue Oyster Cult's deep, ponderous lyrics and hard rock riffs fit perfectly with our commitment to give you the absolute best for only a dollar," an enthusiastic Sasser announced.
"While we were writing songs like "Don't Fear The Reaper" and "Burnin' for You", Buck, Richard and I would often drop by here to get a bag of cheap candy and a couple of helium baloons. That really had an effect on how these songs ultimately turned out," quipped Bloom.

Blue Oyster Cult join The Eagles, REO Speedwagon, Journey, and AC/DC as rock acts to release their comeback albums exclusively through one retailer. However, this is the first such deal for bargain bin retailer Dollar Tree.

As expected, when the album hits stores on December 14, it will be at the price of only one dollar.

"The price is what really attracted us to the deal", Bloom explained, "As I was talking this over with the band, we all agreed. We'd pay that much for the album. And if you really liked it, you could buy it a few more times, give it to friends, stuff like that."

In other news, Foghat is expected to donate truckloads of their latest album to the nearest Goodwill.

Another Unintentionally Hilarious Album Cover - Eire Apparent

 

EARTH! FIRE! WIND! WATER! With our powers and disinterested expressions, we form... CAPTAIN PLANET!

Unintentionally Hilarious Album Cover - The Many Moods of Belafonte

 

Apparently, Harry Belafonte has three moods: confusion, happiness, and orgasm.

Pope Benedict Unveils Debut Album - Exclusive Track Listing!

Reuters just reported today that Pope Benedict is set to release his debut album. This, of course, is trailing on the massive success of other public figures turning to music, including Paris Hilton, Shaquille O'Neal, and William Shatner.

The debut album, titled "Alma Mater" ("Nourishing Mother") will be unleashed into record stores on November 30, hopefully on CD, Vinyl, iTunes, and a USB stick in the shape of a crucifix.

According to Reuters, "The album will feature the backing vocals of The Choir of the Philharmonic Academy of Rome blended with modern classicist recordings by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. It will be mixed at London's Abbey Road Studios." While the Vatican has not revealed anything else to Reuters, we got the skinny on the other guest appearances on the album, as well as the cover art:



1. Introduction
2. Pimp On Da Pulpit (Feat. The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra and Lil Wayne)
3. No Fuckin' Wit A Rubber (Feat. Kanye West)
4. Fuck Da Protestants
5. Infallible (Feat. T-Pain)
6. Vatican City Pimpin'
7. Cruzin' In Da Popemobile
8. Don' Mess Wit Jesus (Feat. Snoop Dogg)
9. Saint Tupac
10. Shawty In Confession
11. Pious Muthafucka (Feat. The Choir of the Philharmonic Academy of Rome)
12. Damn, It Feels Good To Be Da Pope

And for those that pre-order it off of iTunes, you get a music video of "Pimp on Da Pulpit" as well as the bonus track "Vatican City Pimpin' (Timbaland Club Remix)"

Boom Boom Pow - Lyric Analysis

The Black Eyed Peas are killing music like a viral infection. They infiltrate the Billboard charts and slowly suppress other deserving songs, often times, choking worthwhile songs out of existence. Their generic beats and dumb-as-rocks lyrics liquify your brain through constant exposure, until you're helpless to admit that you actually kinda like them.

But what goes behind a Black Eyed Peas song? I take a look into the lyrics to see what propaganda Will.I.Am, Fergie, and those other people are injecting into the public's minds:

Gotta get-get, gotta get-get
Gotta get-get, gotta g-g-g-get-get-get, get-get

They have to get something. Apparently, that thing is so difficult to obtain that one gets a stutter in the process.

Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom

Okay, so now we know what they "gotta get-get". For those that don't know, "boom" could either refer to an explosion, a boom microphone, a time of rapid growth, a small town in Belgium, or just the sound from a bass drum. And they have to get it right away. Perhaps their urgency will be revealed later on.

Yo, I got that hit that beat the block
You can get that bass overload
I got the that rock and roll
That future flow

Wait... but they need the boom boom pow! In this verse, it turns out they already have it. Apparently it's not that difficult if they get it within the first verse. I predict the rest of the song will be just bragging. Also, this is the first time of many in this song in which the Black Eyed Peas claim they have the sound of the future. Also, note that they think "that rock and roll" is the future. Being a hip-hop group, this is rather unlikely.

That digital spit
Next level visual shit
I got that boom boom pow
How the beat bang, boom boom pow

They suddenly do an about-face in their allegiances. Suddenly, the "future flow" is described as "spit" and "shit". At least they've finally come to terms about what their music is. Also, note that they already have the "boom boom pow". Mission accomplished.

I like that boom boom pow
Them chickens jackin' my style
They try copy my swagger
I'm on that next shit now

That's right. Chickens are "jacking" Fergie's "style." This may be the first documented case of racism against poultry in a hip-hop song. In a candid moment, Fergie also confesses that she's moved on from one type of shit to another. Either that, or swaggering chickens make her use the bathroom multiple times in one day.

I'm so 3008
You so 2000 and late
I got that boom, boom, boom
That future boom, boom, boom
Let me get it now

NEWSFLASH: FERGIE IS A HIP-HOP ROBOT, BRINGING US MUSIC FROM THE FUTURE. If this is what the music of 3008 sounds like, I'm perfectly content with being "2000 and late". Apparently to this group, finding the music of the future is more important than appreciating the works of the past. (For artsy types, a proper analogy would be a toddler looking at the Mona Lisa, saying "fuck that shit!" and proceed to finger paint a stick figure.)


Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom pow

The chorus. The boom boom pow is apparently a slippery character. In the verses they have it... but they need in the chorus. Might I mention that if this is the music of the future, why is it happening now? That would be the music of the present. Which means... what would be the future?! Thank you for messing with the space-time continuum, Black Eyed Peas.

I'm on the supersonic boom
Y'all hear the spaceship zoom
When, when I step inside the room
Them girls go ape-shit, uh

Remember kids: standing on a very loud soundwave is very, very dangerous. Don't attempt at home. In reality, we probably couldn't hear the "spaceship zoom", unless in the future space can actually transmit sound waves. Back on earth, girls are going ape-shit over that guy that isn't Will.I.Am.

Y'all stuck on Super 8 shit
That low-fi stupid 8 bit
I'm on that HD flat
This beat go boom boom bap

I'm still trying to find a reason why it's appealing to insult the listener over and over again. After all, they're calling us outdated. If a person started insulting me without even knowing me, I'd probably stop listening to them. Either that, or kick them in the groin.
Also note that HD flat screens are the present, not the future. I'm starting to think that the Black Eyed Peas have amnesia and are totally convinced that they're in some future world.

I'm a beast when you turn me on
Into the future cybertron
Harder, faster, better, stronger
Sexy ladies extra longer

Refencing Transformers while mentioning having sex with women... that usually doesn't fly with the ladies. Trust me on that one. Also, great job trying to quote Daft Punk. It would be even better if you weren't dyslexic.

'Cause we got the beat that bounce
We got the beat that pound
We got the beat that 808
That the boom, boom in your town

For those that don't know, the Roland TR-808 is a popular drum machine, especially used in the eighties. For hating that "stupid 8-bit", they claim they have the beat produced from the 8-bit era. Hypocrites.

People in the place
If you wanna get down
Put your hands in the air
Will.i.am drop the beat now

Getting down whilst putting your hands in the air is counter-productive. Especially if you have sonic booms flying overhead. Will.I.Am prepares to drop the beat. Judging by previous lyrics and a rudimentary understanding of physics, the beat will then bounce, rise up to half the original height, and bounce again indefinitely.

Yup, yup I be rockin' them beats, yup, yup
I be rockin' them beats, y-y-yup, yup

The old switch-er-oo! Instead of dropping the beat, Will.i.am fakes us out by rocking it instead. Either he's tricky, or he's the worst Simon Says player ever.

Here we go, here we go, satellite radio
Y'all gettin' hit with boom boom
Beats so big I'm steppin' on leprechauns
Shittin' on y'all with the boom boom
Shittin' on y'all you with the boom boom
Shittin' on y'all you with the

Satellite radio gets hit with boom boom. I didn't realize the BEP were equipped with satellite-destroying missiles. I would like to request a moment of silence for all of the poor leprechauns that got trampled by Will.i.am's beats.
...
You will be missed. Also, Will.i.am mistreats his listeners once more. Although I will admit this does feel like this song is shitting on me.

...And then they repeat practically everything else they said previously in the song. This is probably so that they can "break it down." Personally, I think it's because it's hard to top squashing leprechauns and shitting on their listeners.

So what 11 things can we learn from this song?

1. The Black Eyed Peas gotta get-get that boom boom pow.
2. The Black Eyed Peas have that boom boom pow.
3. Chickens are jacking Fergie's swagger.
   
4. Fergie thinks she's from the year 3008. She happens to be 999 years off.
5. Girls go apeshit over that guy that's not Will.I.Am
6. The Black Eyed Peas love their own music, yet hate it at the same time.
7. The Other Not-Will.I.Am is a beast in bed. Plus, he can reference Transformers and horribly misquote Daft Punk.
8. Beats bounce when dropped.
9. Will.I.Am has a personal vendetta against leprechauns. Getting down is the best way to expose the little green devils hidden in the audience.
10. Will.I.Am will shit on you.
11. Black Eyed Peas fans love to be insulted.
    

Five Star Albums - #1: Franz Ferdinand - Self-Titled

I'm sure everyone remembers clearly an event that changed their life. It's a birth, a starting point that throws the rest of your life in a completely different direction. I still remember what changed my life, five years ago.

I was thirteen at the time. I was sitting in the backseat of the minivan, and I had set down my Game Boy or whatever it was I was playing at the time. My family and I were westbound, heading to yet another soccer tournament that my sister would participate in that summer. I didn't go on these trips to support my sister. All I really cared about was seeing the open road, getting a change of scenery for once. As a thirteen-year-old, I didn't have that much autonomy. That minivan was the only way my world would get bigger.

Anyways, those details are not important compared to what happened next. My parents put a CD into the car stereo. I didn't pay much attention at first, but as time wore on, the music piqued my interest. Lyrics flowed into my ear... “So find me and follow me/through corridors, refectories/and files you must follow/leave this academic factory...” “...Fire burning inside of me/paralyze, destroying completely/and now, there is a fire in me/a fire that burns...”

I don't remember anything else from that trip. Weeks after, those few melodies I remembered semi-well still stuck in my head. It was an experience I had never felt before. After days of humming these nameless songs to myself, I finally worked up the courage to ask my father... could he burn a copy of that CD for me?

I dunno why I was nervous to ask it. I had never really expressed any musical taste beforehand, so it was odd to say that I actually liked an artist. But my wish was granted. The next day, I had in my hands a burned CD, with the words “Franz Ferdinand” written in sharpie. I dusted off my portable CD player, dug out my headphones, and laid in my bed, truly listening to the album for the first time.

A singer with a Scottish accent crooned as he strummed an acoustic guitar. He sang of a girl named Jacqueline, who was admired by afar from Ivor. But soon, a steady bass line kicked in... then the drums, then electric guitar. And as I learned it's better on holiday, I was blown away. Before I knew it, 45 minutes had passed, and the album was over.

I waited to see if there was anything more... that's it. 11 songs. So I just hit play again. I didn't just find music that I kinda liked. I was in love.

Soon after, I started asking my father about other bands. He was happy to recommend a few. Soon I was discovering music on my own, and falling in love all over again. The Killers. Modest Mouse. They Might Be Giants. A whole world had opened up to me.

Listening to it again, I can easily see why I fell in love in the first place. There's a raw energy that permeates the entire record, but it's not messy. Each track is perfectly crafted. Nicholas McCarthy provides some of the most hummably melodic guitar lines I've ever heard. Paul Thompson provides a disco-like beat that is impossible to not tap your foot along to. Bob Hardy's bass lines groove through the entire album. And Alex Kapranos' vocals are cool, confident, and incredibly sexy.
This is one of those rare albums that doesn't have a single filler track. Each track had a real potential for being released as a single. And hell, half of the album was. “Take Me Out”, “Matinee”, “This Fire”, “Darts of Pleasure”, and “Michael” were all released as singles within the first year the album came out. And all of them certainly deserved to be hits, even though only “Take Me Out” made any mainstream success.

Now, five years after that car trip, my music collection has grown from a few burned CDs to over 350 albums, singles, and Eps that I am proud to call my own. And I have an even larger digital collection. But still, in all this, Franz Ferdinand's first album has a special place in my heart.

...And it just got better.

It's funny the curveballs life will throw at you, especially when it's even better fortune than what you've had before. A good kind of funny, though.

First of all, in Drama... I GOT CAST. As it turns out, callbacks went pretty damn well. The next day, I went to my Acting I class, and one of my classmates came up to me to tell me "Congratulations". I looked at him, rather confused. Then he told me that it was the casting, but wouldn't tell me anything more to ruin the surprise. So I sat uncomfortably through the entire class before practically sprinting across campus to the Performing Arts Center. As it turns out, I was cast as William Page, a schoolboy. The role does not have much stage time, but I'm still glad to be a part of the cast, especially since there were about 100 people that auditioned. For those who can make it, Merry Wives of Windsor will be performing December 2-6 this year.

I got a little special gift from Karma when I headed to my stagecraft class last Thursday. I put in two dollars to get a drink... and three bucks in quarters spat out.

And finally, even though I had talked a lot about Kelcie in the last post, life steered me in a completely different direction by the end of the week. We still remain friends, though. I think.
On Friday, I got this invitation on Facebook to go to a movie. One of my "friends" on there who I didn't really know was sending it out, just to a group of her own friends. The movie was "Burn After Reading", which I had really wanted to see anyways. So I went with her and one other friend. The movie was absolutely hilarious, from start to finish (And apparently Missoula really goes nuts for JK Simmons, much in the way that Germans love David Hasselhoff). We hung out for a little bit afterwards, playing some intense rounds of ping-pong. And then the night was over.
The next day, she texted me, asking if I wanted to hang out for a bit. So we did. We had dinner, then went up to her room (Right next to Jayme's room in Knowles, oddly enough, which is right next to Sarah and Cassie's room), got lost in conversation, then watched Monty Python's Life of Brian. Somewhere in the middle of it all, we started to hold hands. And then after the movie was over... we kissed.

So we've hung out every day since then. Watching movies, or just walking around and telling stories.

Her name's Jessica. And she's now my girlfriend.

Life is good.

It feels really good to say that, actually. Especially since I'm not even lying to myself when I say it.

Now that I'm knee-deep in classes, I'm really starting to find and develop my niche. My theater classes have given me new peeps to hang out and talk theater with, like Kendal, Jenna, and Jason. Being thespians, it's always rather entertaining and helps me get through class at times.

I had my first auditions on Saturday, probably one of the single most nerve-wracking experiences in my life. Not only did I have to use my own material, I was doing this in a room full of people that were obviously older than me. I was auditioning alongside people who had performed in the Montana Rep! Still, I did rather well in the audition and was called back on Sunday, which was just about as nerve-wracking. Now, I was definitely the youngest guy in the room, called back to play the romantic lead (Fenton in Merry Wives of Windsor). Rather awkward, but fun, pretending to fall in love with actresses that were obviously older than me that I had not met until then. Still, I held my ground, and I think I did rather well. I shall wait and see what happens. Even if I don't get a part, it was still really exciting to be back on stage again after a long time. Even performing for five people was as exhilarating as acting in front of a full house.

Outside of classes, I've actually been developing social skills, something I hadn't entirely exercised for a year or two. Sarah's 18th birthday was last Wednesday, so a bunch of us conspired and gave her a pretty cool surprise party in the study lounge of Knowles hall. Even though half the people there didn't know her, she was still pleasantly surprised and had a fun night.
I did as well. As is the norm, I was one of very few males in there. So, I took this opportunity to chat with her dorm-mates, and ended up in this long discussion with a fellow music geek named Jayme. We were still debating our respective favorite Beatles albums after the party was over.
So, overcoming every single mental block that I had, I asked if we could hang out the next night. So we did, and we ran into her friend Kelcie. She seemed kinda weird and off-the-wall, but in a charming way. As we hung out, Kelcie and I hit it off rather well. We wandered a bit into town, eventually making our way to a record store where I bought my first vinyl records. I picked up two used 7" singles of The Beatles' "Come Together" b/w "Something" and Paul McCartney's "Band on the Run" b/w "Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five", as well as a new copy of Arcade Fire's "Keep The Car Running" b/w "Broken Window". All of them are prominently on display in my room.

After that night, I got a message from Kelcie asking if I wanted to hang out. I graciously accepted. So we hung out until 3 in the morning. The next day, after auditions, we hung out again until the wee hours of the morning, watching Monty Python and Sweeney Todd. During this time we found out that we really actually liked each other. So, we shall see where that goes.

Overall, though, I've just been having fun here in Missoula. And hopefully I'll update this blog a little more regularly!

"Sermon on the Mount" ... A Response.

I'm not employed by Senator Obama's campaign, nor am I a man of faith. I am, however, a man that cannot tolerate the distortion of truth. And after viewing the recent political attack ad sponsored by PH for America, which has already amassed 2 million views on YouTube, I had to pounce. So, let's take a look at the ad:

On June 28, 2006, Senator Barack Obama gave a speech to the “Call to Renewal Conference”, where he explained why he finds it so difficult for America to use the Bible to help guide our public policy:

“Which passages of Scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is ok...? How about Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount - a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application? ... Folks haven't been reading their bibles.”

First of all, some cuts in here and some taking out of context done by PH for America. Looking at the transcript for that speech, Senator Obama said this before the offending clip:

“Moreover, given the increasing diversity of America's population, the dangers of sectarianism have never been greater. Whatever we once were, we are no longer just a Christian nation; we are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers.

And even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools? Would we go with James Dobson's, or Al Sharpton's?”

Which is a totally valid observation. There are many different sects of Christianity. Shall we teach everyone that the pope is infallible? Do we teach the Bible as the absolute word, or the starting grounds for your own faith and moral code?

The cuts in the ad, although minor, seem to cut out the things that PH for America couldn't combat. Here's the whole clip, unedited, from the transcripts:

“Which passages of Scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is ok and that eating shellfish is abomination? How about Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount - a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application? So before we get carried away, let's read our bibles. Folks haven't been reading their bibles.”

Where's the attack against shellfish, PH for America? And it seems odd that the second to last sentence was cut out completely. Senator Obama made a very good suggestion. Let's read our Bibles to actually remember what's in there.

The entire context of the speech itself is not rallying against religion or religious teachings. It's a call to compromise. Most people would agree that the Bible does include some very archaic laws and morals. And even though PH for America accuses Senator Obama of being “arrogant”, he still is a man of faith.

Senator Obama, after you so arrogantly mocked and ridiculed the books of Leviticus, Deuteronomy, and the Sermon on the Mount, taking those passages of the Bible so painfully out of context,...

On Slavery in Leviticus: Leviticus 25:44-46 "Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids. Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession. And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, to inherit them for a possession; they shall be your bondmen for ever: but over your brethren the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigour."

Archaic laws in Deuteronomy (with other laws around it in context): Deuteronomy 17, 1-5: Thou shalt not sacrifice unto the LORD thy God any bullock, or sheep, wherein is blemish, or any evilfavouredness: for that is an abomination unto the LORD thy God. If there be found among you, within any of thy gates which the LORD thy God giveth thee, man or woman, that hath wrought wickedness in the sight of the LORD thy God, in transgressing his covenant, And hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them, either the sun, or moon, or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded; And it be told thee, and thou hast heard of it, and enquired diligently, and, behold, it be true, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought in Israel: Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, even that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die.

Deuteronomy 14, on shellfish (curiously, it also states that swine is sin. Sorry, bacon-lovers.): Thou shalt not eat any abominable thing. These are the beasts which ye shall eat: the ox, the sheep, and the goat, The hart, and the roebuck, and the fallow deer, and the wild goat, and the pygarg, and the wild ox, and the chamois. And every beast that parteth the hoof, and cleaveth the cleft into two claws, and cheweth the cud among the beasts, that ye shall eat. Nevertheless these ye shall not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the cloven hoof; as the camel, and the hare, and the coney: for they chew the cud, but divide not the hoof; therefore they are unclean unto you. And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you: ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcase. These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat: And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

Those sound archaic, even when IN context.

...you then condescendingly that quote “Folks haven't been reading their bible” unquote, as if the American people don't know what's in there. But the real question is: do you know what's in there, Senator?

Pulling out those little nuggets, it sounds like he does. But do you PH for America?

For instance, did you not know that most Christians and historians agree that the Sermon on the Mount contains the most spiritually inspiring words ever uttered by Jesus Christ or any other religious leader?

Citation needed.

And as far as your sarcastic remarks regarding the Defense Department not being able to survive the Sermon on the Mount's application, I can assure you, Senator, that Christ would NEVER advocate turning the other cheek to terrorists and America's enemies, as your smug laughter so clearly implied.

I, on the other hand, assure you, PH for America, that Christ actually WOULD advocate turning the other cheek. Please flip your Bible to Matthew 5:38:

“You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

And to back that up, another relevant passage, from Luke 6:27:

“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

The Sermon on the Mount, as a whole, advocated nonviolence and nonresistance, something that actually would be very hard to implement in the current Defense Department.

And did you not know, Senator Obama, that the book of Deuteronomy, which you also arrogantly mock and ridicule, is what gave us the ten commandments?

Which, the tenth commandment permits slavery. In Deuteronomy, the Tenth Commandment reads as such: “Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbor's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbor's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbor's.” (5:21)

Deuteronomy also gave us the law that women cannot wear pants (22:5), or wool and linen together in the same garment (22:10). Also, it states that remarrying your former wife after divorce is an abomination (24:4), and the book gives clear instructions for defecation in the wilderness (23:12-14) Oh, and if you are in violation of ANY of these laws..."Cursed be he that confirmeth not all the words of this law." (27:26)

Folks, all those condescending remarks distorting our Judeo-Christian Bible did not come out of the mouth of Barack Obama's pastor, Jeremiah Wright. No. They came straight out of the mouth of Barack Obama.

Drawing unnecessary comparison to the Rev. Wright yet again. Didn't that whole controversy show that Senator Obama was a man of faith? Then why do we keep questioning that aspect of his life?

“Folks haven't been reading their Bibles”

Paid for by PhforAmerica.com

PH for America, with your distortion of a man's good intentions, I only have God's words for you:

'You shall not steal, nor deal falsely, nor lie to one another. And you shall not swear falsely by My name, so as to profane the name of your God; I am the LORD'. (Leviticus 19:11-12)

-Zack Quiroz.

A "Short" walk

Yeah, so I decided to have a short walk today. Nothing big. I just left the dorm and starting walking. Little did I know just how far I'd go. At about 4:30, I returned to my dorm. Here's the map, with points of interest:

View Larger Map

Point 1: Lunch at Subway. Talked with an elderly gentleman that had lived in Missoula for over 40 years. He was a really nice guy.
Point 2: Spent a little time in a used book store known as "The Bird's Nest". Charming place.
Point 3: I stumbled upon some sort of festival or something. Not sure. But there was live music and food.
Point 4: Whoops. End of that trail. Time to head back and cross the river.
Point 5: Walked by the baseball park.
Point 6: The paved trail ended, and I walked through wilderness. Really odd, being in the center of the city without actually seeing the city.
Point 7: Stopped for some Dew at a Holiday.
Point 8: Saw the sign for a music shop. Upon going around the building, found out it was closed down
Point 9: Looked around Rockin' Rudy's for a bit. It's easily one of my favorite record shops now. I picked up a Fight Club poster.
Point 10: Mountain Dew having been depleted, I went to recycle it before heading back to my dorm.

All in all, it was about a 7 mile walk. Exciting, eh?

A Universe (ity) Transition

So now that I'm settled down and allowed thoughts to percolate about moving to college, I suppose I could post yet another blog.

The transition to college life really hasn't been that difficult so far. While I feared it as a major change, I guess I completely forgot my political beliefs: Change oftentimes is a good thing. There's an unprecedented amount of freedom I'm feeling from getting my own place, but yet I still have that sense that I need to do something. Thus, I'm waking up on time, I'm doing my schoolwork, and I'm taking some time to enjoy the campus. Which, by the way, the campus is absolutely beautiful, even with Mount Sentinel half-burnt. Even in the August heat, the campus is lush, green and full of life. I even took the time to just sit outside for a while and appreciate nature.

Dorm life is pretty cool so far. My roommate, Ben, is a guy that's really easy to get along with. I totally have no reservations now about sharing my room with this guy. My neighbors play their music a little loud, but it's usually during the daytime. I've found it effective to combat them by whipping out my guitar. Everyone on the floor seems rather nice, though, seeing as I haven't gotten into any trouble. Now that my room's got a full mini-fridge, cable TV, and internet access, I totally don't even think I need to leave!

There is still one thing, though, and it's what is really the pits about starting over. Even though I'm pretty self-sufficient, I feel truly, honestly alone here. It is liberating in some aspects, such as not having the pressure to come up with conversation during lunch, but it still doesn't help much. While I have talked to some people, and I have run into some very intriguing characters already (I'm looking at you, girl-who-plays-acoustic-guitar-and-sings-while-looking-out-the-11th-story-window), I haven't really "hung out" with anyone. But, I should probably not hold myself to such a high standard. I'm not exactly the most open guy in public, and it would be odd for me to have legions of friends after just merely three days.

That being said, I love being here so far. I don't think I really needed to worry about the whole transition thing after all!

-Zack

P.S. I wrote my transition essay on Beatlemania. What fun!
P.P.S. Thanks to Becca for leaving a notoriously lengthy comment. Get a blog! =P

Dorm Sweet Dorm

Not too wordy of a post this time, but I've moved to Missoula and am now on my own. Here's two pics of my new dorm room!

 

First things first...

So, I gave into my own temptation and got myself a separate blog. It seems like the right thing to do nowadays. I could just continue with my musings on MySpace, but I feel like a need someplace special. Someplace separate to chronicle my thoughts, findings, and musings.

Plus, I do things irrationally. Live with it.

Anyways, even though I should be sleeping right now, a lot of things weigh on my mind. As of right now, I have two days left until I leave for college. That's two days before I move away from my hometown for the first time. There's a lot in Billings that I'm going to miss, like joking around with my gang at the Wynnsong or gossiping at City Brew. I'm going to miss all the friends I leave behind here. And I'm going to miss the friends that move away as well. Some will move close to where I am...some not so much.

And as such, I've been treating this week as my grand farewell to Billings. Not only have I been the most social I've been in a long time, I've also been incredibly productive. All my stuff is packed and ready to go. I'm currently living out of a duffel bag with a couple of days worth of clothes and my laptop. It's odd seeing this bedroom bare, stripped of some of the things I held close to me for the past five years.

As for socializing, nearly every day this week has been spent hanging out with people, seeing some for what may be the last time in a long, long while. I kicked things off Sunday with a day at Shaun's house. It was great to do what we always did: hang around, eat junkfood, and play video games until dark. A few hours of Rock Band and a Soul Calibur IV tournament was a great way to relax.
Monay wasn't much. Just going out and getting the last things I needed before I leave.
Tuesday I woke up dangerously early (as in 9:30) to April walking into my bedroom. Luckily I was already dressed. We went out to IHOP for a quick breakfast. Sometimes just sitting and chatting with a friend can make hours go by quickly. Don't even need to do anything but talk. Later that night, I went to see Weird Al Yankovic in concert for the second time. While it wasn't as fun as the first time I saw him, it was still a good way to revisit my childhood. I still remember all the words to most of his songs! Still, one thing nagged at the back of my mind as I saw my ex-girlfriend across the auditorium. I feel as if there's still a lot of unresolved issues and conflicting feelings from our breakup, which is probably why I feel really shitty when I see her, much less try to talk. It really doesn't help that I have both conflicting anger and platonic love. And it was made tougher with my sister egging me on to bitch Markie out. I really wish that break-up could have happened a lot smoother. Which, a big part of that was my fault.
Yesterday, being Wednesday, I was supposed to go grab lunch with Jon but overslept. Whoops. However, I did wake up in time to head up to City Brew to deliver my acoustic guitar, Marguerite, to Sarah. She looked great, as usual, and being able to waste hours just talking was something I looked forward to. There still is some unrequited feelings, but I've kept it in control in order to still have a good, stable friendship. The last thing I wanna do is appear like a psycho to one of the only close friends I have who is going to Missoula. Shortly afterwards, I went to the fair and met up with Christina and Jessica, both of whom I may not see for a long time. It was fun, yet bittersweet. Those two have been really great friends, giving me both encouragement and counsel. (They were exceptionally supportive back when I had depression, as well as after my last break-up. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have gone to my Senior prom, and I would have remained rather cold and bitter for at least a few more months)

On Friday, I'll be seeing Alex, Brit, Nikky (hopefully), and April for the last time. Really quite sad, seeing as they are like family to me (especially Brit, who has been great emotional support for me, as I have given her counsel and advice as well. We can pretty much tell one another anything).

Then, Saturday morning, I pack up my last remaining things and leave Billings for Missoula. A new life awaits me, a rather jarring change. Now I will only know a few people, and few will know me. There's no parents or siblings. I sleep in a new bed, with a person I barely know sleeping across the room from me. There will be new things to do, new places to go. New girls to date, new friends to make. Although leaving Billings is rather sad, I cannot wait to be in Missoula.

And that is why I really have started this blog. In this digital age, it turns out that even a friend on the other side of the world can be a click away. With this blog, I can update my friends and family back at home, while (hopefully) entertaining people I meet in my new home.

So with that, let the blogging begin!