The Black Eyed Peas are killing music like a viral infection. They infiltrate the Billboard charts and slowly suppress other deserving songs, often times, choking worthwhile songs out of existence. Their generic beats and dumb-as-rocks lyrics liquify your brain through constant exposure, until you're helpless to admit that you actually kinda like them.
But what goes behind a Black Eyed Peas song? I take a look into the lyrics to see what propaganda Will.I.Am, Fergie, and those other people are injecting into the public's minds:
Gotta get-get, gotta get-get
Gotta get-get, gotta g-g-g-get-get-get, get-get
They have to get something. Apparently, that thing is so difficult to obtain that one gets a stutter in the process.
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom
Okay, so now we know what they "gotta get-get". For those that don't know, "boom" could either refer to an explosion, a boom microphone, a time of rapid growth, a small town in Belgium, or just the sound from a bass drum. And they have to get it right away. Perhaps their urgency will be revealed later on.
Yo, I got that hit that beat the block
You can get that bass overload
I got the that rock and roll
That future flow
Wait... but they need the boom boom pow! In this verse, it turns out they already have it. Apparently it's not that difficult if they get it within the first verse. I predict the rest of the song will be just bragging. Also, this is the first time of many in this song in which the Black Eyed Peas claim they have the sound of the future. Also, note that they think "that rock and roll" is the future. Being a hip-hop group, this is rather unlikely.
That digital spit
Next level visual shit
I got that boom boom pow
How the beat bang, boom boom pow
They suddenly do an about-face in their allegiances. Suddenly, the "future flow" is described as "spit" and "shit". At least they've finally come to terms about what their music is. Also, note that they already have the "boom boom pow". Mission accomplished.
I like that boom boom pow
Them chickens jackin' my style
They try copy my swagger
I'm on that next shit now
That's right. Chickens are "jacking" Fergie's "style." This may be the first documented case of racism against poultry in a hip-hop song. In a candid moment, Fergie also confesses that she's moved on from one type of shit to another. Either that, or swaggering chickens make her use the bathroom multiple times in one day.
I'm so 3008
You so 2000 and late
I got that boom, boom, boom
That future boom, boom, boom
Let me get it now
NEWSFLASH: FERGIE IS A HIP-HOP ROBOT, BRINGING US MUSIC FROM THE FUTURE. If this is what the music of 3008 sounds like, I'm perfectly content with being "2000 and late". Apparently to this group, finding the music of the future is more important than appreciating the works of the past. (For artsy types, a proper analogy would be a toddler looking at the Mona Lisa, saying "fuck that shit!" and proceed to finger paint a stick figure.)
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom pow
The chorus. The boom boom pow is apparently a slippery character. In the verses they have it... but they need in the chorus. Might I mention that if this is the music of the future, why is it happening now? That would be the music of the present. Which means... what would be the future?! Thank you for messing with the space-time continuum, Black Eyed Peas.
I'm on the supersonic boom
Y'all hear the spaceship zoom
When, when I step inside the room
Them girls go ape-shit, uh
Remember kids: standing on a very loud soundwave is very, very dangerous. Don't attempt at home. In reality, we probably couldn't hear the "spaceship zoom", unless in the future space can actually transmit sound waves. Back on earth, girls are going ape-shit over that guy that isn't Will.I.Am.
Y'all stuck on Super 8 shit
That low-fi stupid 8 bit
I'm on that HD flat
This beat go boom boom bap
I'm still trying to find a reason why it's appealing to insult the listener over and over again. After all, they're calling us outdated. If a person started insulting me without even knowing me, I'd probably stop listening to them. Either that, or kick them in the groin.
Also note that HD flat screens are the present, not the future. I'm starting to think that the Black Eyed Peas have amnesia and are totally convinced that they're in some future world.
I'm a beast when you turn me on
Into the future cybertron
Harder, faster, better, stronger
Sexy ladies extra longer
Refencing Transformers while mentioning having sex with women... that usually doesn't fly with the ladies. Trust me on that one. Also, great job trying to quote Daft Punk. It would be even better if you weren't dyslexic.
'Cause we got the beat that bounce
We got the beat that pound
We got the beat that 808
That the boom, boom in your town
For those that don't know, the Roland TR-808 is a popular drum machine, especially used in the eighties. For hating that "stupid 8-bit", they claim they have the beat produced from the 8-bit era. Hypocrites.
People in the place
If you wanna get down
Put your hands in the air
Will.i.am drop the beat now
Getting down whilst putting your hands in the air is counter-productive. Especially if you have sonic booms flying overhead. Will.I.Am prepares to drop the beat. Judging by previous lyrics and a rudimentary understanding of physics, the beat will then bounce, rise up to half the original height, and bounce again indefinitely.
Yup, yup I be rockin' them beats, yup, yup
I be rockin' them beats, y-y-yup, yup
The old switch-er-oo! Instead of dropping the beat, Will.i.am fakes us out by rocking it instead. Either he's tricky, or he's the worst Simon Says player ever.
Here we go, here we go, satellite radio
Y'all gettin' hit with boom boom
Beats so big I'm steppin' on leprechauns
Shittin' on y'all with the boom boom
Shittin' on y'all you with the boom boom
Shittin' on y'all you with the
Satellite radio gets hit with boom boom. I didn't realize the BEP were equipped with satellite-destroying missiles. I would like to request a moment of silence for all of the poor leprechauns that got trampled by Will.i.am's beats.
...
You will be missed. Also, Will.i.am mistreats his listeners once more. Although I will admit this does feel like this song is shitting on me.
...And then they repeat practically everything else they said previously in the song. This is probably so that they can "break it down." Personally, I think it's because it's hard to top squashing leprechauns and shitting on their listeners.
So what 11 things can we learn from this song?
- The Black Eyed Peas gotta get-get that boom boom pow.
- The Black Eyed Peas have that boom boom pow.
- Chickens are jacking Fergie's swagger.
- Fergie thinks she's from the year 3008. She happens to be 999 years off.
- Girls go apeshit over that guy that's not Will.I.Am
- The Black Eyed Peas love their own music, yet hate it at the same time.
- The Other Not-Will.I.Am is a beast in bed. Plus, he can reference Transformers and horribly misquote Daft Punk.
- Beats bounce when dropped.
- Will.I.Am has a personal vendetta against leprechauns. Getting down is the best way to expose the little green devils hidden in the audience.
- Will.I.Am will shit on you.
- Black Eyed Peas fans love to be insulted.
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